Whale Wars

My office is located one floor above the conservationist group Oceana. You can spot one of them in the lobby from a mile away. I know who is going to push floor number 5 when we pile on every morning just by looking around. The person wearing jeans on a Tuesday, with a holey, rumpled sweater and the faint odor of "unbathed" is sure to be one of the clan that regularly delays my elevator ride by 15 seconds. When they exit, I routinely mutter threateningly under my breath, "freakin whale watchers." I like to say it just loud enough that they briefly pause and wonder if they heard me correctly.

The only good thing the whale watchers have ever brought to my office was January Jones for a promotional filming. Otherwise they just bring irritating conversation (why do you have to talk so loudly in a 4 x 4 box??), bad smells, and painful elevator delays. They also installed this color-changing fiber optic wall one sees every time the elevator doors open on floor five that makes strange hypnotic sounds. It makes me uncomfortable.

So I want to know what they think of today's article on the brewing conflagration in the Antarctic highlighted in the Washington Post.

The article is so funny I have to post the headline and the first couple of paragraphs:

Conservation Group Hunts for Japanese Whalers by Helicopter

Japanese whalers and conservationists squared off Thursday for more hostilities in the Antarctic, a day after the hunters crushed one of the activists' boats in a clash each side blamed on the other but all agreed endangered lives.

Sea Shepherd Conservation Society searched Antarctic waters by helicopter for a Japanese whaling ship Thursday, renewing its attempt to harass the whalers into giving up their hunt, the group's founder Paul Watson said.

The escalating Antarctic confrontations were broadly condemned, but no plan was immediately hatched to prevent future confrontations.

I mean, this sounds like an article from the Onion, not the Washington Post.

The best part? Apparently there is an actual television series on Animal Planet TV entitled "Whale Wars" that documents this ongoing battle.

The whole thing kind of reminds me of an incident at my alma mater, Tufts University, when members of the student Peace and Justice group physically assaulted members of the Tufts Republicans under the cover of darkness. Apparently the whale watchers think its fine to hunt humans, but not orcas.

I didn't know the whalies like a good fight. Bring it on Floor 5.